Top 10

I was talking with my husband the other day about the top 10 things that we have learned being married.  This would be like the 10 things that we think are the most important and that have made our first year of marriage successful (successful as in we are still married...and still plan to be married for a while..and still consider each other best friends).  We have had many days when navigating through our marriage were all but happy but it's important to say that learning this stuff together was and is really worth it. So here is the list that we put together, together :)  P.S. These are not listed in order of importance.

1. Go on adventures together.  This is not something that has to cost a lot of money or any at all. It's always fun to go for a drive with no plan or destination.  Really good discussions come out of this for us.  You can also find interesting things if you go to a place where you don't really know your way around and have to find your way back out...Just don't get killed or something.
2. Pray together.  Praying is really neat because you're growing closer to God both individually and as a unit.  It is also a vulnerable place to be with another person because, you would hope, when you're talking to God, a little bit of your heart is exposed.  That is a really sweet thing to be a part of.  A lot of times I find myself with a really big smile on my face when my husband is praying because I am in love his heart for people and for God.
3. Always be on the same team.  This one is really big for me because I have to be reminded of it so much.  Craig Groeschel, the pastor of LifeChurch.tv, did a series on marriage recently and one of the things he said that stood out to me is when you fight, don't fight for victory but fight for reconciliation and restoration.  Definitely a slap in the face for me because I always wanted to win.  Not good. 
4. Don't waste time getting mad over little things.  There will be so many jumbo things to fight about that to make a big deal out of the small things is silly.  Also, when I think about all of the small things we could be mad at each other about, we would never not be mad. Ever.  Close the closet doors, rinse your dishes, hang up your towel after using it, don't leave your clothes on the ground, take out the trash. PLEASE SWEET BABY JESUS lead this man to take out the trash!  blah blah blah.  The list could go on forever and those are not all things that I get mad about. Those are things he has to get on me about too. Just FYI.  But you can see how we would never be able to have fun or just chill if we wasted time fighting about trivial things.
5. Shower together.  Soon we will have a little person in our house that will make this pretty much impossible. But, I must say that taking showers together gave us a little bit of extra time to talk in the mornings or evenings and that is much appreciated.  (Saves water too!)  Oh! And our showers are about 99% of the time not sexual, just functional.  There's always somebody to help you wash your back :)
6. Love Languages actually work and they help.  The book we had to read for our pre-marital counseling is titled "The 5 Love Languages" and seems really stupid and corny at first but it really does help.  The love languages are 1)Words of Affirmation 2)Quality Time 3)Receiving Gifts 4)Acts of Service 5)Physical Touch.  I thought I could pick out my own by just looking at them but actually reading the book (go figure) showed me differently.  My top love language is Words of Affirmation while my husband's is Physical Touch.  Good things to know when one of you needs to be loved on. 
7. Be intimate. Alot. You know what I mean... Do it. I don't think anything else needs to be said about that.  
8. Surprise each other.  The little things are always the best.  For example, I love when my husband surprises me with a clean kitchen or making the bed.  Neither of those are a big huge deal but it shows that he was thinking of me.  This is a good time to consider the other person's love languages too!  
9. Love each other in public.  Side Story* Ben and I are in Target picking up some stuff for the baby and we turn to walk down the aisle and this couple is legit making out...Like hard core making out.  So we just stand there awkwardly and wait for them to notice us.  When they do notice us, they keep kissing.  Ummm, okay.  I guess we will just look for something else.  End Side Story*  This is not what I mean when I say love each other in public.  I love when my husband sneaks kisses when no one is watching or when he stops me to give me a big hug.  Small things, small things.
10. Show interest in each other's interests.  Pretty easy, sometimes.  This is a good way to practice not complaining.  I'm good at complaining and spending time doing things that Ben likes teaches me to be selfless.  Also, I love seeing my man happy!  That's a plus. 

Well, there you go!  Those are our top 10 things that my husband and I learned in the first year of being married.  Surely the list will be different after family dynamics change with adding a baby girl to the picture.